Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
