1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
