That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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