She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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