to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
