i just wanna soil my oats bro
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
