How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Also, beer. Big fan.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
