Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
