I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I faked an abortion last night.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
