In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
