my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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