Welp...herpes.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
i think my cat just said my name.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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