his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
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Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
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i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize