She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It's shark week go big or go home
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
