i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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