My pussy is not your playground.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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