After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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