I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
im having a threesome with these popsicles
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
a search helicopter?!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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