She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I need a burrito and a hug.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
