so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
