why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
