i jhust puked up my retainher.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
