RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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