you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
