Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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