distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
