so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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