I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
