Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
