Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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