If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize