I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
