I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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