What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
