I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You left your phone here
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