dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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