I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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