i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
