your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize