I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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