Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize