I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize