that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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