Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
