the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
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Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
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I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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