pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Buhtt sex?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
