Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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