The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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