i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
