those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
