Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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