So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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