Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
