So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
then he tried to convert me to islam
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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