Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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