I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
