There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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